Day 9 & 10 - Marcia and Sandy

I apologize for not getting my posts up for the last three days.  First I was sick and then my computer wouldn't post them because of the internet issue that happened with my laptop, that evening.  I was too tired to find another computer and thus, I am slow to post.  That's what I get for trying to have some social time!  LOL ... what was I thinking!  ...Work, work, work!  My boss is a slave driver.


Day 9 - Marcia Kiesee is  a student of mine who I see weekly or twice a week when she plein air paints with me on Saturdays as well.  She is an incredible artist herself with really harmonious use of colors, which she arranges in a the most interesting paintings.  It was a delight to paint Marcia, but impossible to not talk.  I am happy to say that I did get a painting that I like very much from her sitting.  She has this great sense of humor and catches me off-guard every time, then has me in stitches while I try to paint.  It was nearly impossible to stay quiet and strait faced for the pose at moments.  Love this lady and I am so happy she sat for me.

Day 10 - This morning I had the opportunity to paint another student Sandy Allie.  Sandy is also an artist and has work on her websites: SandyAllie.com and SandyAlliesSculpture.com. She is a very talented sculptor!  We met through a class that I taught at the Crocker Art Museum several years ago and Sandy has been keeping up with me on the internet since. What great cheek bones Sandy has. She says there is some Native American blood in her and that is where the cheek bones come from. Sandy has eyes that switch to a color that is more green in other situations but today with all that gorgeous coral color bouncing into her face from her shirt, I only saw dark blue.

Her blouse was a true mixture of Napthol Scarlet and white.  It was great because this is the color of red that I have settled on out of all the cadmium and scarlet colors of red that I have been playing with for flesh tones.  I am loving my Napthol Scarlet.  When I use it in the lightest values of the skin, it captures that fleshy soft skin tone that I am liking so much.

I have included a photo of Muffin, the studio dog who greats everyone and sleeps by us while we paint.  She has never met anyone she doesn't love.  Muffin was a gift for my mom from my sister and I for Christmas a year before mom passed in 2013.  She is now 3 and what a princess she is.  She deserves that title as well because she is a pretty good little girl.  She is a great greeter and can't wait for the next person to come in.

So, I wanted to write something a bit more about the process of painting portraits.  While I am working my mind is continually trying to remember the "recipe" for a color that I have applied previously in the same area.  I am also constantly reevaluating the space between and shapes of color in all the areas of the face.  I don't see a face as a whole person during the process.  Unless I lean back and squint at the painting, generally all I am seeing is the small areas in a face that create a puzzle of colors and values that when all arranged correctly form the human face of this particular person.  And even though we all have the same features as in two eyes, one nose, one mouth, hair, chin, etc., everyone is SO different as to the facial arrangement of muscle and bone structure.  Some have dimples in chins, some have high cheek bones, some have eyelids that are very rounded ... some straight.  You get the idea.  So in order to paint a portrait you have to be able to see not only the whole structure of the contour of the person's features, but you have to see every little idiosyncrasy that makes their face unique.  If you are off by a milometer often it is the difference between really capturing a person or not.  As a painter, you must really hone your skills to be able to see the slightest angles or adjustment of value which would change the angle of the contour, plus thin or thicken any area of skin.   

I am using the same lighting, chair, and position for everyone I am painting.  Thus, the colors are similar except for the clothing and shade of skin each person has.  And yet the two different elements have me continually working to reinvent the way that I apply those color mixtures that I am enjoying so much.  I am using, a deep magenta, mossy green, pale blue-violet, and other variations near these colors into the shadowed side of my face.  Because I am working with ambient light through the window (North), my light is really cool.  But, my shadows aren't extremely warm and I also have a bit of light coming from the opposite side.  The studio lights are also balanced light. So, I am going for a very natural lighting that isn't too hot.  I wanted to have the two sources soften the shadows, in order to flatter my subjects more.  I used to paint in a far more classical high contrast manner, defining the light from the shadow to a degree that it was far harsher but made a striking painting. My goal in this month is not only about the colors of paint that I am adjusting but it is the way in which I light my subjects.  

Now multiply all these things that I have mentioned by 100 each and you won't yet come near to the amount of thoughts that I have going through my head during the three hours of painting the subject. And you can see why a formal portrait of the highest quality takes over 20 hours for the simplest one. These studies that I am doing for three hours are just the initial reaction I have to the models and what I can pick up on, in that short of a time.  When I really get the opportunity to do a great portrait I spend hours and hours analyzing exactly how I can adjust the value or any other minute detail to create a truly gorgeous painting of someone.  

These studies are fun.  I am really enjoying just being able to let go in the initial stages at such a fresh point, in something that I consider unfinished.  It is an exercise that will be forever in my mind and one that has already taught me so much about what I want to change in my approach to the formal paintings as well.  Thank you again to my wonderful 10 models that I have had so far!  I am 1/3 of the way through the month and I am LOVING this.  I hope you have been enjoying as well.  

I have gotten so many good comments on how people really appreciate watching this happen. Thank you!  

Day 7 & 8 - John and Audrey

Day 7 - John - What a sweetheart with big dark blue eyes.  He brought me irises.  At 8 he is already learning the way to a woman's heart. Girls love flowers!
John was a bit squirmy.  But, that is his great personality.  It's just harder to capture someone when they are too interested in what I am doing and not focusing on the movie.  All in all, I captured his look.  John is the son of one of my students, Martha.  I am so happy that I got to meet him and spend the time creating this painting.  What a handsome guy he is!

Day 8 - at 10:00 AM this morning I met Audrey, the beautiful granddaughter of my classmate, Gail Comstock, from Casa Robles class of 1976.  What a sweet and bright young lady Audrey is.  She was very beautiful in her turquoise dress and even drew a picture for me!  I am very happy with the outcome of her painting and actually having the time to get the details of the dress and her arms in. That is a lot to pack into 3 hours. As Audrey's mom Kara was filling out the questions that I ask of everyone, she asked Audrey what her best experience was.  They came up with a trip to Mexico but there wasn't a lot of excitement surrounding the answer.  So, it was really cute when Kara wrote on FB that Audrey and her both think this was the most exciting experience of her life yet, to sit for a painting.  :*)


All these kids are so sweet and wonderful.  It makes me miss my son being young.  He is 30 and is still single.  (I am taking applications for a mother to my grandchildren! :*)  Just kidding.  He wouldn't be happy to have mom's help and is actually doing fine on his own.)   Gary is a journeyman electrician in the commercial field and manages about 6 other electricians under him.  I am really a proud mom.


Well, unfortunately I wasn't feeling good at all since day 6.  So, I didn't blog yesterday (written on 8-8-15) because I slept to try to get rid of the horrible headache that I had.    Good news ... as of today I am back to my happy, healthy self!  Yeah.

I had coffee with my dear friend David on Thursday evening and he asks such poignant questions. I was all set to talk about it but my brain can't recall what it was that I was going to talk about.  It's hard to be witty, deep, and right brained at the same time. I will keep trying to remember what that was that we were talking about and hopefully hit that point in the near future.

It seems my life is a maze of fun encounters where I think I might be having more fun than those who have to sit for me.  But, at least with all the kids I have done this week, they get to watch a movie or two as well.  I know I am not getting as good of a painting as I could because I am listening to the movies and distracted from what I usually think about when painting to music alone for adults. I feel that I could do far better.  I have one more little girl and the rest of the models are going to be adults.  So, I can have them sit without the television involved and hope to get better focus and paintings.

Even with those issues and my bar set so high, I do feel that I caught the character of each of these handsome and cute little kids.  It's been very fun.  Please don't take my correction of myself and sharing my higher standards for my work as a criticism or lack of self confidence.  It is the push behind me to make myself a better painter daily that makes my work stronger every time I go back to the easel.  Without this inner critic, I would be satisfied and passively never learn or desire to learn more.  I teach my students that no matter how good you are as an artist, there is always a bar that is higher than we are now achieving and that bar is what makes us better artists.  It's true that a 3 hour painting of this degree is good.  But, I strive to be better than good and hope that some day I will be excellent.  Thank you if you think I am now.

The trick I tell my students is that you must not beat yourself with that bar.  It's one thing to recognize it but another if you stop yourself from doing any more work or believing that you can do better work that causes damage.  This applies to everything in life.

Day 5 & 6

Day 5 was a great painting day. I am really happy with the portrait of Laura Getman.  I was too tired to write last night so I am including this post in with Day 6.  Laura is a student of my lecture series on Tuesday nights.  She had the desire to learn more because she is an art docent for the Crocker.  And lately she has been painting with me as well.  It was a delight to paint her with all her blonde curls and great sense of humor.  I really like how her portrait turned out.

I had two classes scheduled, my usual for Wednesday. so Laura sat from 6:30 PM to 9:30.  She was a trooper and I was up for it.  It couldn't have gone better.  I had to turn on a lamp because the normal north lit window was going to be a problem with the sunset.  And I don't feel it could have gone better.  I just felt that flow that every artist wants to have when they are painting.  I felt her in the painting within an hour and a half.  Then, I spent the second half of the evening just working on details.

It's funny how I began with no background color at all and by yesterday, I was painting the full background.

But, unfortunately, I was awake until midnight with all the energy I found.



Day 6 - I didn't sleep well last night due to being awake until midnight and then a nose bleed that woke me at about 4:00 AM.  I was awake until 5:30 and have had a splitting head ache all day.  So, I am working on scheduling the bipolar cauterization procedure at Stanford for the end of Sept.  It's time.  It's a simple surgery that will stop the nose bleeds for a while.  I have had this procedure done once before in 2010.  And it worked well.  So, I look forward to being free of this for a while again if all goes well.

Wyatt's big brother, Jackson (11 years) was my model at 2:00 PM today and watched two movies while he sat for me.  What a very handsome guy and family.  The two boys have such great features and dimples.  I again wish I could paint them with that smile where the dimples really show.  But, there is a bit of one in the chin on Jackson.   I am not sure the movie idea is that great because they kind of end up with a bit of a glazed over look in the painting and yet it is easier for the young ones to keep them slightly still. Three hours is a very long time for a child. They are troopers!  What a delight to get these young kids willing to do this.  These two young guys are jewels and so polite. I am thrilled that their dad, David Redfield, found me and decided to do this for his family.  It has been very fun.  By the way, if you are in need of a great insurance agent, David Redfield is the right guy for your needs! (I need to give a plug to my new friends.)

Tomorrow I am painting John Patrick, who I understand is 9.5 years old!  :*)



Now ... I am off to sleep to see if I can get rid of this headache.  Good night all.

Day 4 - Painting an eight year old...

Day 4 -
My model today was Wyatt, a very handsome tall brown eyed 8 year old.  Wyatt's father, David, runs the "I Love Fair Oaks" page on Facebook and is an agent for State Farms Insurance.  I was honored to meet him recently as he is from my neighborhood; it's great to meet another local business owner.  I am so very excited that David has scheduled his whole family of five for this project.

Wyatt was a great sport sitting for 3 hours for me.  So, I put on a couple movies for him to watch so that he wouldn't be bored.  He is really a sweet young man and I thoroughly enjoyed working with him.  Although his expressions continually changed from the emotions of watching a move and there were times that I suggested he might want to sit up, Wyatt was very good at sitting still enough to capture him.

Today was a great day.  And I am thoroughly enjoying this so far.  Yesterday's philosophical rant was just that.  There are always going to be deep passionate ideas about art that come up for me, because it is a passion and I am in a learning stage.  So, I nailed it, vulnerable.  And that's totally okay.  For today ... I am glad to allow this.

Today the painting process was easy, so much so, that I repainted and spent much time just softening and solving the small details.  I was actually done in two hours but the last hour was good to spend more time reassessing my drawing and color contrasts.

I taught class during the morning and took an hour to eat lunch and then Wyatt arrived.  I am tired and don't have a lot to say ... other than ... what a very good day!

Thank you to all of the models and their parents!  This is such a satisfying project and I couldn't do this without you.

Day 3 - 

Barbara Manwell was my model this morning! I really like Barbara because she is so natural, real, and a beauty in her late 60's. Her eyes are like aquamarine jewels.  She is my student and friend.

I am loving this project. The paintings are nothing like my formal portraits because they are so fresh and unaltered from my first impression of the colors and character. They aren't perfected. They are a reaction, a "study". It's enlightening as a painter to be able to let go of a painting after 3 hours when you are used to working for hours and hours on a painting, working and reworking until it is perfect. This is fresh and fun.  Like letting go of an addictive behavior, though, it is hard to do.  

This morning I received a criticism to my painting on Facebook stating “too bad she didn’t capture your real beauty” or something similar. 

And maybe what this month is all about is allowing a new vulnerability for my models and myself.  

After I read the displeased statement on Facebook, I did two things.  I deleted the statement for the sake of my own self-protection and then I unwillingly had a long nosebleed.  (What can I say?!) I wasn't angry, just contemplative as to what it means and how to react.   I have learned how to stay calm on the outside and yet my blood pressure rising is obvious that I am still the very sensitive person I have always been.  I wasn’t upset.  I knew that I didn’t capture Arlene’s cheerful nature;  yet, I look at that painting and don't want to change a thing.  It's very sensitive as I find Arlene to be. 

  

Maybe there is more to experience in life that this 'allowing' will bring forward.  Maybe I need to let my guard down more to let things just happen.  Let go and let God.  (Please God, no more hard lessons though!)  This plan seems like one of those ideas that come from beyond me and so maybe this is the underlying reason: I need to allow myself to be more vulnerable.  In my early life, I allowed it often and I have had many great experiences because of it.  But, harsher ones the older I got, so I have been very protective in the last years.  Maybe this is the wake up to start opening my mind and heart to more new experiences.  I hope so.  (LOL ... this type of talk can't be avoided ... there is a deep analytical philosopher in my soul.)  I work so hard to protect myself from criticism and rejection -so much that I don’t take chances.  Yet, this month, I am really allowing myself to be vulnerable with this project, as my models are allowing themselves to be vulnerable to my observation and ability to immortalize them.  

I am so thankful to my models with beautiful spirits and souls.  

Artist's style:  Although I have had a great response from my sitters, I knew there was a chance that there would be some portraits that people wouldn’t feel brought out the best or didn’t capture their image the way they wanted to see themselves.  AND, I totally understand the artists that end up going to the point of distortion of the image as to avoid the whole dilemma of capturing someone the way they want to be captured.  When I do a formal portrait, I spend hours smoothing and making my brushstrokes and color values/temperatures subtle to flatter my subjects. I thoroughly interview the families ahead of time to try to pick up on anything that might be an issue for them in the way I portray them. I spend over 30-40 hours in the process of painting a classic painting in order to achieve the perfect effect that flatters but also shows them at their best.  With this project there is no time to really put that extra effort in to doing anything but reacting to what I see and putting it down on the canvas.  So, I am setting myself up for this kind of vulnerability as are my models.  But, isn’t that what this exercise is supposed to be about? 

Should artists paint to please others or should they paint what they interpret from their own personal vision and insights in life?  It’s as though we are talking about two different subjects when we speak of the two ways to paint, but we aren't.  Yes, as a professional portrait painter for 33 years, (August 16, 1982) I have been adjusting people’s images to be only the best they can be seen.  So, I am great at painting to please others.  But, how can any artist paint without their own personality showing, even in those circumstances?   It's inevitable that my personal influence to a subject will show up especially when I paint fast.  I know many gallery owners and other artists who would say "Bravo!" to this because they feel that art is merely an expression of the artist and should not be constricted to please anyone but the artist.  And yet, it is very difficult to allow vulnerability when there are so many opinions out there to sabotage a good artist.  

Which brings me to: What is the artist’s responsibility?  If I were a museum artist whose goal was to only show the world exactly what I see in every minute change of value and color, the world might appear a bit more in high contrast for me. I see and feel everything because I am as sensitive and analytical as I am and know so much about psychology.   I tend to be the truth seeker in life and it shows when my work is as honest as it is in these 3 hour paintings.  Is it my job to do that, really?  ... to show what I see without a filter?  Or is my job what I have defined it to be over the years ... showing what I want in well worked pleasing paintings?  Isn't that my personality showing also? 

Day 1 & 2 photos of paintings and models

Day 2: 31 P in 31 D

August 2, 2015 - Day 2
Well, I am off to a wonderful beginning!  The painting of Brooke yesterday was a great start.  She is a very sweet young lady with a great future ahead. She wished to put her engagement ring into the pose and so I felt a bit of a time challenge to make it happen but I did feel good when I made it happen within the 3 hour scheduled time.  It was so very fun to work with her.  It is difficult to sit that long without talking but she was great.  Her smile was contagious and I found myself smiling a lot during the moments where I asked her to hold a "Mona Lisa" smile.  I wish I could have painted her gorgeous smile but it is impossible to hold that pose for 3 hours.  I am happy that this went so well and pleased with the outcome.

I am so happy that I am doing this.  So far, I am really enjoying this and my models seem to tell me they are also enjoying this.  

Today, I had Arlene Gorman pose for me from 10-1 and I just loved the outcome.  Arlene and I go back a ways and have always enjoyed catching up.  As she found out, I cannot answer questions well when I am focused on painting.  In fact, I really shouldn't talk in order to do a good job.  But, we did manage to get caught up!  Luckily for her, I don't have any updates other than work. Arlene is a beautiful light to auburn haired friend with sparkling blue-green eyes and has always had a great outlook on life.  I know you have already heard this, but I wish that holding a smile for 3 hours was possible so that all my paintings could have teeth in them.  But, pushing myself to get this much done so fast is it, for now.  I do try to get that slight smile that shows softly by the lifting of the corners of the mouth. "Mona Lisa smile".

What I am finding about the painting process:  Yesterday, I kind of struggled with my thoughts about how to approach this.  After all, it was day 1 and all that applies to it.  I knew the recipes and my color was accurate to what I wanted but there was a process that I hadn't slipped into yet.  I need to be able to see exactly what I needed to see down to that little crease behind the eye when there are shadows, eye makeup, and distance between us.  I am working about 4 feet back from my models.
By the way, they will all sit in the same high-back dark yellow-green velour chair.   A chair that has seen many interesting moments because it was one of my mom's chairs from her private practice as a marriage, child, & family counselor.

Yesterday I got into my groove by the end of the sitting but I was slow to get there.  Today, however, I found that I was much more accurate in the placement of strokes to represent the colors/value I saw in Arlene. I ponder how much of the ability to capture one person faster or labor longer is due the smoothness of skin and the way that there are less "landmarks" in smooth skin verses those of us that are past 40.  I think the more landmarks we have the easier it is to capture a likeness.  Although, then you deal with the fact that most of us want to be flattered, for those landmarks to be softened or taken out totally.
 
My goals: Working from photos makes you lazy.  I am doing this exercise for myself to heighten my observation of color in people.  I have been working from life off and on for my whole life, but when I go to the studio and the model isn't there in front of me, I tend to depend too much on what a photo records and not the true reality of vision. I felt like I was working too much from photos and wanted to take my level of observation from real life to a higher understanding.
It was exhilarating when I felt that today.  I felt every color and shift of color according to the temperature of the light or shadow on my subjects. I was far more comfortable with the progress of my painting by the 2 hour mark -when I needed to have all the areas filled in and to begin working on the details that softened the skin and flattered Arlene.  Although, I would love to take each of these into a formal portrait and continue to work on them long after the 3 hours, that isn't the goal and all of my little changes that I still want to make are not allowed.  So, I force myself to stop working on the paintings at the 3 hour mark.  Ooookaaay ... I admit it.  I may have adjusted a couple minor things after the model leaves.  But, it is dangerous to work without your model.  A little is good, a lot is bad.  But, in the end, I need to remember what my models have said when the 3 hours are done:  Arlene loved it and said "that's what I look like!"  Brooke said she "loved it".  So, I am pleased with that.

Other work involved:  As for the work involved, the "model releases" are being filled out, here.  It's always so hard to get papers made out ahead of time.  I do appreciate those who did fill them out and send them to me ahead.  But, life is made of moments where we reinvent the plan.  And, that's okay.   As in the four people who I am about to reschedule.  It is difficult and I apologize to those who asked me earlier to do this.  I just haven't had any time during July to solve this.  Now it's a must.  I do however still have four people on the waiting list as an option if I just cannot find a way to fit the others in.
I am also concerned that I haven't been receiving the written questionnaire that I am counting on for the book.  I have had 2 out of 2 models without that filled in for me.  I sure hope I get those back, they are the basis of how I plan to create the first of two books that I have planned.  I want to share what I see from the inside out by having the words from the models to put next to their paintings.
I do know ... I need not worry.  It does always work out... it's a mystery how. (Shakespeare in Love reference.)

Feeling: I was exhausted yesterday after painting Brooke (probably because of the young ladies I worked so hard with last week and maybe some of the HHT) ... but today I find myself energized again.  After the session with Arlene I met up with a close friend for lunch at Jack's Urban Eatery and then shopped at Trader Joe's for my healthy morning smoothy ingredients of spinach, kale, egg, protein & green powders, avocado, almond milk, pineapple juice, strawberries, blueberries, and banana.  It may sound awful, but it is actually delicious!  I have been drinking this for breakfast for 3 years now and without it, I feel spacey, and unfocused.  A healthy lunch with Lori was grounding.  I find that at this time in my life I am so blessed with the best friends I could have and feel so thankful for all of them. Some male and some female, some students, some BFF's, some from high school, some life just gave me, and some have 4 legs.  I couldn't be more blessed in that area.  Feeling happy.  Feeling loved.

Tomorrow's model is Barbara Manwell.  Can't wait ...